only in brooklyn

Yesterday, with both boys in tow, we ventured back to the hospital Emergency Department for Caleb's concussion follow-up appointment. The clinic was crowded and chaotic, and we waited for over two and a half hours to be seen by a doctor (for a grand total of about 30 seconds) and told that Caleb was perfectly fine. Keeping two wiggly boys entertained and out of other people's hair in a crowded waiting room for two and a half hours is not my idea of a good time, but the boys were relatively well-behaved, thank goodness, so long as my supply of snack food didn't run out. Luckily I wasn't the only one providing them entertainment.

I don't know if this is the case where you live, but in Brooklyn a person's own private, personal business is everyone's business. While I've seen this habit used for good, it seems to be more dominant in people who are nosy to the point of being incredibly rude, not to mention obnoxious. Our experience in the clinic waiting room yesterday provides a perfect, albeit far from shining, example.

Sitting near us in that waiting room was a couple and their son, who looked like he was about 5 or 6 year old. He had been playing happily on an iPod until, for whatever reason, it was time to put the iPod away. He began throwing an hysterically irrational fit and could not be consoled. His parents tried to calm him, but nothing was working.

In steps a woman who, mind you, had finished her appointment and was exiting the clinic. She hovered over this little family and, with a stockpile of gestures and body language poses at her disposal that indicated how annoyed she was with this tantrum, kept telling the parents things like, "Make him stop crying...Give him what he wants...Well, give him something else...Aren't you going to do anything to stop him?"

It didn't take long for other people in the waiting room to side with the family and gang up on this nosy woman, telling her to mind her own business and if she was finished with the doctor maybe she should just leave. (Remember, we're in Brooklyn. People here do not sit idly by.) It started quietly at first, but it didn't take long to escalate.

A street-savvy couple sitting right next to us joined in the kerfuffle, and with their help the nosiness grew into a full-blown heated (and hot-headed) argument. This couple began shouting at the nosy woman, who yelled right back. Nasty name calling and the F word were soon flying swiftly over those uncomfortable chairs (and in thick, thick Brooklyn accents) to the fascination and discomfort of everyone in the room.

Some nurses came out to try to calm things, and other people in the waiting room tried to calm things, but to no avail. A few minutes later what certainly felt like the entire hospital security department marched in to take control, and while even they weren't able to calm things immediately, they were eventually able to convince the nosy woman to just leave already. To calm the heated couple sitting next to us, the nurses bumped them ahead in the wait line so they could be quickly seen by a doctor and then quickly shuffled out of the clinic. (Maybe the next time I'm sick of waiting for two and a half hours I should try yelling at someone to get seen quicker. Or maybe not.)

And then everything was calm and eerily quiet. The boy had stopped throwing his fit, and everyone in the room began clicking their tongues and nodding their heads in satisfaction that the situation -- with their help and support, no less -- had been resolved.

The whole thing was rather hilarious, I thought, and definitely provided some much-needed entertainment in that otherwise awful waiting room. But even so, I wanted to be able to cover the ears and eyes of both my innocent children. (Garrett was a little too fascinated by the whole ordeal, and I was a little anxious that he'd start mimicking the dirty language he unfortunately had to hear. He didn't, though, and I think we're in the clear this time.)

But my goodness. Only in Brooklyn, I tell you. Only in Brooklyn.