there's no place like home

My beautiful Wasatch mountains with a bonus view of the neighborhood I grew up in.

It was nothing short of a miracle that my scheduled flight out of JFK not only happened, but happened on time, particularly when we were in the clutches of yet another major winter storm. Shortly before Blake drove Matthew and I to the airport, this was the view from our windows:

The photo looks really blurry because there was so much snow! In the space of roughly 4 hours that morning, we accumulated about 10 inches -- that in addition to the mounds of snow-turned-solid-ice that already graced the neighborhood.

Because in the days leading up to my departure it was looking more and more unlikely that my little trip home to Provo would actually happened as planned, we'd kept a close eye on both the weather reports and the flight schedule. We also did a whole lot of praying. Almost by the minute, it seemed, the weather reports grew more and more grimly severe. And, as if to follow suit, one by one, other scheduled flights that day got delayed and eventually cancelled altogether.

But mine miraculously stayed on the board, and we even boarded on time. I attributed this to several things: the fact that the flight originated in New York, which meant that the plane was already at the gate and not stuck in ice-over Atlanta or something; a scheduled layover in Phoenix, rather than some other ice-and-snow-riddled city; a slight break in the weather (my flight left in the early afternoon, shortly after the snow changed over to rain and shortly before that rain changed back over to snow); and a whole lot of Divine Intervention. Seriously, Someone knew I needed to get away, if only for a few days, because it's not often that the stars align so perfectly for little old me.

Matthew, watching our plane, shortly before we boarded.

At any rate, my flight was one of the few that left JFK that day, and I am so glad that it did. (I'm also glad that we actually made it to the airport -- the drive there turned out to be the diciest leg of the trip!) Matthew and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves in Provo, a land where the mounds of snow were up high looking very beautiful in the mountains, rather than encroaching on my now-delicate levels of sanity down in the valley.

Snow-covered Mt. Timpanogos rising above the snow-less valley.

 
We were there for five whole days, and were joined by my sister, Katie, who drove down from Boise with her daughter, Natalie. We were also able to spend a good amount of time with my other sister, Chelsea, who is currently living across town playing the part of the BYU co-ed, and my brother, Scott, who is spending his days on the other side of town working and taking a few classes at UVU.

Here are a handful of highlights of how we spent our time together:

- The first thing we did was visit the Sacred Gifts exhibit at the BYU Museum of Art. Photography wasn't allowed, so I have no pictures of my own to share, but it was beautiful. Some of the paintings were on loan from the Riverside Church in Manhattan, and once they are returned later this summer, I'd like to go see them in their "natural habitat."

- We did a lot of shopping, and I found small treasures just about everywhere we went. We stopped in at few favorite boutiques in Provo (Harmony and Cherry Lane). We also went into Salt Lake a few times to visit Orson Gygi, Home Goods, and Gardner Village. And then there was a trip to American Quilting, where I picked out fabric for my baby quilt.

Darling, no? I'm planning on a chevron quilt with alternating color-and-white zig-zags with the vintage print as the backing and bound in the green checkered fabric.

- I got to eat a lot of food I love that I can't easily get in Brooklyn, including, but not limited to: Arby's (I know, not fancy, but I do love me some America's roast beef, yes sir!), Rubio's (mmm....fish tacos....), and BYU Bookstore cinnamon bears (or lips, since it was Valentine's Day). I was also introduced to The Chocolate's famous Cazookie. If heaven is a slightly undercooked chocolate chip cookie topped with ice cream, then this was it.

Katie, Chelsea, and their Cazookie.

- We visited the newly opened attic space at the Provo Library, where Chelsea was volunteering as docent for an exhibit of original children's book illustrations.

- Speaking of the Provo Library, one morning we took the babies to Story Time. Natalie got way into it, but Matthew, though a little more subdued, particularly enjoyed the puppets. He also loved roaming the steps afterwards.

 - And speaking of the babies, Matt and Nat were so funny together. They may be cousins, but their personalities are polar opposites. Where Matthew is mild and observant, Natalie is a firecracker of a performer. They didn't know what to do with each other at times, but they still managed to have fun.

Playing with the magnets (both on the fridge and stuffing them into the tracks of the marble run in the family room) was one of their favorite things to do together.

Bath time! This was shortly before they both burst into tears (Matthew because Natalie was touching him, and Natalie because the blue tub kind of freaked her out).

In a rare burst of personality, Matthew tried to teach Natalie how to spit.

 Attempts at cousin photo ops.

- We attended the campus YSA ward that my dad is currently serving as bishop in. No photos (it was church, after all), but you can be sure that the only two children in attendance provided enough entertainment for the entire congregation.

- We went to see a movie. In a theater! This has become such a rare event in my life, which is why it's worth noting here. We saw The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which was fabulous, and I even saw my friend, Melanie, who got screen time in the film as an extra!

- While their mothers were out and about, Matthew and Natalie got to spend a lot of time with Grandpa, who graciously and continuously offered to watch them. And while they were at home, they spent a lot of time, not only with him, but with Grandma's toy collection, a small portion of which is pictured below.

 Balls

 Dobbin the Wonder Horse

(And watching his reflection in the TV while riding Dobbin.)

 Books

 Nesting dolls

 Vintage Little People

Too soon it was time to head back to Brooklyn (on a red-eye flight which, thanks to a bit of maneuvering on the part of our lovely flight attendant, we were blessed with an open seat for Matthew to sleep on instead of my already cramped lap). It was so good to see my family and refuel my faculties for what remains of both the winter and this pregnancy, and it was so good of Blake to stay home with the other boys so I could go. Hopefully this trip sets a precedent for years to come.

the great communicator

Matthew is blossoming into a conversationalist, which has so far been helpful and hilarious and just so beautifully normal. This afternoon we had the following exchange:

Matthew, approaching me with his empty dixie cup:
"More!"

Me:
"You want more pretzels?"

Matthew, nodding:
"Uh huh."

Me:
"Well, you already had some, and now they are put away, so no more. We're all done."

Matthew:
[Insert minor but adorable tantrum here.]

Me, apparently willing to bend at the slightest tug at my heartstrings:
"Well..... okay. Can you say please?"

Matthew, grinning and without hesitation:
"Bee!"

Oh man, how can I refuse that?! And as soon as I refilled his cup?

Matthew:
"Dee do!"

Which, as I'm sure you can deduce, is Matthew-ese for thank you.

As soon as I pulled out the camera, he posed and belted out a happy and hearty, "Cheeeese!"

I made a list the other day of all the words and small phrases Matthew now has and uses regularly at his command. It's primitive-sounding, as most toddler speak is, but it's consistent and understood. Compared (not that I'm comparing...well, okay, actually yes I am) to his two older speech therapy-receiving brothers, this list at this age is pretty impressive.

• Choo-choo
• Oh no
• Uh oh
• Mine
• Cracker
• Duck
• Quack quack
• More
• Banana
• Apple
• Mama
• Daddy
• Amen
• Car
• Ball
• Night-night
• Bye bye
• I did it
• Please
• Baby
• No
• Uh huh
• Eye
• Head
• Hat
• Hot
• Roar
• Thank you
• Book 
• What's that/this?
• He did it!
• Dog
• Whee!
• Done
• Off
• Two
• Cheese
• P.U. (during diaper changes)
• Cloth
• Snoopy 
• Ta da!

And it's growing daily!

Now I need to teach him how to say "Such fun!" because that's exactly what this is.

snapshots

Three weighty posts in a row?! Someone needs to lighten things up around here! And so I give you a few snapshots of what we've been up to in the last several weeks.

 Picking up Garrett from school in a blizzard....

And picking up Garrett from school, post-blizzard, in the slush.

(Just kidding -- those are not pictures of me. But they could be!)
(Sources: here and here.)

But seriously, onto more pleasant things....

Night-night, Matthew!

Reading time. (Not entirely sure why Garrett was so enthralled with the Binky board book. Maybe he was reminiscing fondly on former times?)

Matthew sitting reverently at nursery, as captured by his devoted nursery teacher.

Attempting a game of Suspend for Family Home Evening. Despite the skill he appears to be demonstrating, Garrett usually ended up knocking over the rest of our efforts. And he thought doing so was hilarious.

Feeding their babies (while dressed for culinary greatness).

Posing for a happy birthday photo text to their cousin, Chloe.

I turned 32.

When pink eye strikes (again!), everyone knows the drill and assumes the position.

I caught him sifting through my sewing box. He knew the moment I walked into the room that he might be in trouble. I didn't have to say a word.

Cookies make everything better.

This is the way he eats his oatmeal.

Busy writing.

A game of chase.

This is the way Blake always imagined he'd spend his evenings; it took the free copy of the Deseret News: National Edition that came with our Ensign to finally make that dream a reality.

Pierre is his new favorite book to pull off the shelf and browse through.

Making bracelets.

my gut vs. the professionals

When I had Caleb evaluated at the school district for speech therapy services last summer, they also found that he had some sensory and fine motor skills issues that qualified him for occupational therapy as well. Seeing how much OT has helped Garrett, and noticing a few similarities between the two boys, we went ahead and accepted the additional services because at the time it felt right. And even though it's a pain to get him to his twice weekly OT sessions and make it home in time for his speech therapy, he's enjoyed himself and it's clear to me that he's benefited.

However, as I've watched him progress over the last several months, I've debated about whether or not I'd like him to continue receiving OT during his kindergarten year. He's come a long way; his fine motor skills have improved enough, in my view, to help him stay caught up at school, and we've learned how to manage his sensory issues. While he may not be "cured" (if such a thing is even possible), I think he's reached, or will reach, the point that it won't be helpful to pull him out unnecessarily from his kindergarten class. His speech therapy services, on the other hand, I fully plan to continue with. His speech is still very unclear, and correcting that is something I am not trained to do.

Recently Caleb's OT therapist noticed some additional quirks (walking on his toes rather than his heels, not alternating his feet on stairs, and an overall sense of imbalance) that would potentially require physical therapy and, with my permission, had a colleague do a basic screening. Her findings suggested that, in addition to a possible vision problem, he did indeed need PT.

The emphasis on need, however, was hers, not mine. My initial thought was, "How many therapists does one normal, if a little quirky, child need?!" followed closely by, "Is this a New York thing?" I'm totally fine with getting his vision checked out (after all, he is genetically doomed in that department), and that, in all honesty, might solve some of his balance issues. But therapy? Really? He's an adaptable boy who seems to be living a full and very happy life without it, but would I be inhibiting his potential by dismissing her advice?

So I followed up, and asked more questions, making sure to acknowledge her position as a professional. How necessary is therapy, truly? Isn't walking on his heels and alternating his feet on stairs something we can easily teach him at home? I also raised my concern that, given Caleb's personality, I thought that his being constantly pulled out of his classroom for services would be more detrimental than helpful. (And, knowing full well my own limits, I don't have the time or energy to pursue services outside of school hours.) She told me that, sure, there were things we could "fix" at home, but it was the underlying issues she was mainly concerned about. Issues, my gut feels the need to chime in, that were never a "problem" before now.

Ultimately the ball is my court. They say that they have enough evidence to easily qualify him for these additional services; I just need to call the special education coordinator at the district to get things moving. On the one hand, I don't want to dismiss this if there really is a need (and there may indeed be a real need if he'd so easily qualify) -- but on the other hand, her opinion, though professional, is also slightly biased; whoever provides the services gets paid to do so. Even the "free" services offered through the schools are given funding from the state to provide them, and, I'm told, every head counts.

It's all making my own head spin. It's hard to make big decisions so far in advance without being able to fully understand the long-term implications.

My gut, which I usually trust, since it's also usually backed by prayer, tells me to refuse the services, and ultimately that's probably what we'll choose to do. After all, downsizing services for our "normal" (all things considered) -- and thriving! -- child so he can continue to move forward in a more mainstream environment seems like a good way to go, especially for a personality like Caleb.

But still I hesitate. Is it the right choice?