seven is heaven

Dear Garrett,

You've been waiting a long time for this day. Since the day you turned six, you've been anxious to be seven, always telling me things like, "When I turn seven, I'll be able to ...." and "I can't wait to be seven!" But it's finally here. You are seven! Happy birthday, Garrett!

You have always had an entertaining personality, but over the last year you have blossomed into a real character. The things you say never fail to intrigue me or make me chuckle. And you do not stop talking. Ever. I often find myself wondering at the mechanics at work in your brain as you think out loud in conversation.

Speaking of, these days you like are a large sponge, absorbing all sorts of fascinating facts about everything from outer space to the deepest parts of the ocean. Most of this information you learn by reading -- it is a rare thing these days to see you without your nose in a book -- while the rest of it you glean from scientific documentaries. "Science" is your current buzzword. You love to "do science," "learn about science," and you've decided that when you grow up you want to be a scientist. Whether you will specialize in astronomy or marine biology or another branch entirely has yet to be determined. Right now the world is your oyster.

I love how you are so full of ideas. You are always thinking and always creating. The way you can turn a tossed recyclable or a cut-folded-and-taped piece of paper into a work of art is incredibly creative. I am also impressed with the lists you write out of everything from things you've learned to things you want to do.

When you started me on my path to motherhood, Garrett, I had no idea how much I'd be able to love you. In a way, I still don't. But you, with your smile that is almost too big for your head, your goofy notions, and your suave dance moves, hold a very special place in my heart. No matter how big you get, you will always be my first baby, and I will always, always love you.

Love,
Mama

****

Here are a few snapshots of the birthday celebrations:

For over a year, ever since his class took a field trip to "Pizza Uno," Garrett has begged to go back. He chose to eat there with his family instead of celebrating with a birthday party with friends.

Aunt Chelsea is in town for a visit. We took her to the 9/11 Memorial.

Afterwards we rode the ferry to Governor's Island.

 There was some fun installation art meant for kids to climb around and play on. All the boys loved it.

Worn out on the subway ride home after a super fun day.

Aunt Chelsea helped decorate the cake. She used white sugar pearls to map out star constellations in the frosting.

 Seven candles!

He loved all of his gifts, which included a BYU t-shirt, a ticket to the Hayden Planetarium, the first four Magic Tree House books, and a box of his very own craft supplies. His favorite, though, was a detailed visual encyclopedia of space. He can't wait to pour over that one.

wrapping up the school year

Well, it's official: school is out and summer has started. Part of me is glad for a change of pace. This last school year has been a difficult one for me, what with two separate school pick ups, OT and speech therapy appointments to get back and forth from, and a pregnancy, in addition to all the other aspects of life during a school year. I'm a little worn out.

The rest of me, though, is a little terrified at the prospect of having all four of them home all day every day where it's hot and swelteringly humid outside and cramped and crowded inside. I have a rough plan of how we'll survive, which entails regular morning park visits, followed by lunch and early afternoon quiet/nap time, and a little bit of homework/reading time when it's too hot to be outside.

But enough about summer. It will happen whether I'm ready or not. Onto the pomp and circumstance!

Two days ago, Caleb wrapped up his pre-kindergarten year. He went to a small nearby school called the Tiny Tots Playhouse, which he seemed to quite enjoy. Late last week his teachers held a simple Stepping Up ceremony that I attended.

 The pre-k graduates.

 The face Caleb pulled while the rest of his classmates smiled and sang a few songs. I'm still trying to decide if he was happy to be there.

 With his two friends, Lola and Mia.

 With his friend, Sabil.

With one of his teachers, Ms. Adele.

 And with Mom (and Daniel).

Ready for kindergarten!

As we walked home from Tiny Tots for the last time he said, "It's happy and sad, right?" I couldn't have summed it up better myself. He made a lot of great friends, absorbed the awesomeness of Magna-Tiles nearly every day during centers time, and learned a lot about how a school works. Now onto kindergarten!

In addition to pre-k, Caleb also this week wrapped up his OT and speech therapy sessions. He'll resume them again in the fall, only this time they'll take place at school so I, happily, won't have to cart him to and from them. I've been kind of "meh" about his OT experience and am actually relieved that it's over. Speech with Miss Zarina, on the other hand.... She was wonderful (and she came to our home for his sessions, which greatly added to my love for her). We will both really miss her.

Miss Zarina

Today was Garrett's last day of 1st grade at P.S. 185. He had a fantastic year with amazing teachers. I attribute his marked improvement and intense love for reading almost entirely on Mrs. Caramanico, who also encouraged his love of science. She, along with the other classroom teachers, Mrs. Clinton and Mrs. Blake, were the best things that could have happened to Garrett this year, and we will both miss them. But he's as excited as ever to be a second grader in the fall!

 With Mrs. Caramanico.

 Look! He's reading chapter books! He kept his nose buried in Mr. Popper's Penguins and finished it last night after starting it only a week ago.

Garrett's 1st grade year was also generously sprinkled with wonderful friends. Here he is with his best girl friend, Ava. These two were apparently partners in crime, especially when they were assigned to sit at the same table. (Isn't she adorable?!)

 Making silly faces with his best boy friends, Ben and Abel.

This afternoon, to celebrate their last days of school, I took them to get Slurpees at 7-Eleven. In the process we unfortunately managed to ruin a lot of clothes, both from cherry-red Slurpee drippings and heat-induced dye transfers (from my shirt onto Daniel's while I was wearing him in the Ergo). Hopefully the rest of my attempts at fun this summer don't turn out as disastrous because, as exhausting as I know it will be, I really would like to make our days as memorable as possible, given our circumstances. So send your prayers and best wishes this way because I think I'm gonna need them.

cut from the same mold

When people see Daniel, one of the first things they notice is how much he looks like his brothers.

And it's true: while they each have their own unique features, they were definitely also cut from the same mold.

Can you tell them apart?

Garrett

Caleb

Matthew

Daniel

six weeks

Daniel is now six weeks old, which means that we are also six weeks into being a family of six. (That's a whole lot of sixes!)

Six weeks old!

Life with this sweet baby is moving along just about as expected. The nights are long, and so are the days. I am so, so tired. Danny is colicky, which is unfortunate but also expected. We've been trying all our old tricks -- swaddling, bouncing, white noise, gas drops, different formula, etc., even probiotics, which is a new one this time around. They each seem to work a little, but even so still prove to me that the only "miracle cure" is time and lots and lots of patience. I am looking forward to the day he starts smiling (he's so close!), which I'm sure will help me to love him AND like him.

 Some days a sleeping baby and quality chocolate are exactly what I need to keep myself going.

My transition thus far from three to four children is going just about as expected. It's crazy and crowded and exhausting, but good just the same. I think things would have been a little easier, though, if I had a yard to send the older ones outside to play in. Between my lack of energy and the logistics of naps, appointments, school pick ups, meal prep, etc, not to mention the logistics of transporting ourselves from one place to another, make getting them outdoors and to the playground a sometimes insurmountable challenge. And if there's one place these wild boys need to be most of the time, it's outside. But we're plugging along and doing our best to accept our current state of "survival mode."

It was an epic struggle for me to get them to the park to play in the sprinklers, but they seemed to have fun, so at least the outing wasn't an epic failure.

At my six week post-partum check up this morning, I learned that my recovery is coming along just about as expected. My insides feel like they've mostly moved back to where they belong, and all the trauma of delivery has healed nicely. I have moments when I feel like I'm on top of the world, but I'm pretty sure that's just adrenalin mixed with a sprinkling of delusional wishful thinking because in reality I am so exhausted I can hardly see straight and my head won't stop spinning. It's not an issue at present (despite my occasional teary meltdown), but since I dealt with it last time, I'm on a careful watch for a resurgence of post-partum depression. On a lighter note, I had to laugh when the midwife told me that she's been getting some great mileage out of my birth story ("I mean, you took your pants off and there he was!"). But in all seriousness, when I asked her about the probability of a repeat performance next time around, she told me it was 100% likely so long as the baby is in a good position, which only further confirms to me that between now and then I need to learn how to deliver a baby myself just in case.

Oh how I wish I was getting sleep like this!

In another six weeks, I expect to be at least a little more awake and with a less colicky baby. I also expect to still be living it up survival style, but I know we'll get there when we get there.

And in the meantime, at least he's really cute!

white whole wheat sandwich bread

A few years ago I made a New Year's Resolution to learn how to bake bread. Through a lot of trial and error, I managed to figure it out (even before I had the help of an electric stand mixer) and, as I did so, tried out a lot of different recipes. Some were delicious, while others I couldn't for the life of me get to work right. In all my practicing, though, I was never able to find a recipe for a good, whole wheat sandwich loaf.

---

My family eats a lot of sandwiches, and because they do, I like to make sure I buy the healthiest bread I can find that still tastes good to all who have to eat it. When I shop for bread, I read all the labels to make sure that what I get is actually whole wheat and not made with cheap sweeteners like high fructose corn syrup. About a year ago our Costco started carrying these loaves of white whole wheat bread that looked and tasted like Wonder bread but that were much healthier. We devoured it, and often found ourselves back at Costco more frequently than we would have liked just to replenish our supply.

---

After months of pregnancy-induced aversions to being in the kitchen, I recently started feeling enough like my old self to get back in there. Because the scheduling complications of a larger family make it even more difficult than it already was to get to Costco on a regular basis, I decided that my first endeavor would be to bake a loaf of white whole wheat sandwich bread. I got online and searched around for a recipe.

The first recipe I tried turned out to be a real winner. It was uncomplicated to make, rose high enough to work well as sandwich bread, and was soft not only on the first day, but for the entire week it took us to consume the two loaves. Oh, and it tastes really, really good! I made it for the second time today and was so impressed with the results, I thought I'd share the recipe as I've made it here so that maybe it'll be a keeper at your house like it's quickly becoming at ours.

White Whole Wheat Sandwich Bread
original recipe found here
yields 2 loaves

3 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour
1/3 cup vital wheat gluten
4 tsp instant/quick-rise yeast
~
2 1/2 cups very warm water (120-130 degrees F)
~
1 tbsp salt
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup honey
4 tsp lemon juice
~
2 1/2 cups white wheat flour


1. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook, mix together the first three ingredients. Add water and mix for one minute, scraping down the bowl halfway through if necessary. Cover bowl with a kitchen towel and allow to rest for 10 minutes.

2. Add salt, oil, honey, and lemon juice; beat for 1 minute. Add remaining 2 1/2 cups of flour, 1 cup at a time, beating between each cup. Knead dough in mixer using the dough hook for 10-15 minutes or until the dough pulls away from the side of the bowl and feels smooth rather than sticky.

3. Preheat oven to lukewarm by setting it to 350 degrees and then turning it back off after exactly 1 minute. Grease two nonstick bread pans. Turn dough onto a greased surface and divide evenly into two loaves. Roll each out into a narrow rectangle, then fold into thirds and tightly roll up, tucking the ends under. Place each loaf into the prepared pans.

4. Place pans in the warm oven and allow to rise for about 30 minutes, or until the dough is nicely domed above the tops of the pans. Without removing the pans from the oven, turn oven to 350 degrees and bake for 30 minutes. Remove immediately from pans and cool on a rack.

these faces

And then there are days when I need to remind myself of just how much I really do love these faces.

for daniel at one month

Dear Daniel,

This first month with you has been for me one of palpable exhaustion but also one of exhilarating joy. It has been my sweet pleasure to start to get to know you and to realize that no matter how much you look like your older brothers, you are your very own unique little person.

You have already done a lot of growing, and are seeming to me to be less and less fragile. You've been colicky as well, and I am sometimes at a loss of how to comfort you. I'm so torn between wishing you'd stay tiny forever and wanting you to quickly grow bigger so that you'll cry less and sleep better. Luckily, swaddling you tight and holding you close usually calms you down and sends you to your happy place. A good swaddle solves a lot of your problems, actually, which is why you are almost constantly wrapped up.

Honestly, though, despite your fussiness, you have more periods of calm contentment than your brothers did. I'm not sure if it's the probiotic experiment we're trying with you, or just your temperament (or perhaps a bit of both), but you have the ability to enjoy brief moments alone on a blanket and left to wonder at the world around you. It catches me off guard every time and makes me want to swoop you back into my arms, even though they often ache from holding you so long and I know that I should probably let you be for both of our benefit. But sometimes I just can't resist -- your round little cheeks are always begging to be smothered in kisses. It is in these moments that I'm reminded that you are so close to learning how to smile, a milestone I am greatly looking forward to.

I love you, my sweet Danny Boy, and feel so blessed to have you here. Your brothers, too, are glad to have you around (you are a lucky little boy to have so many good ones looking out for you!).

Love,
Mama

His shirt speaks truth: he is Captain Adorable.
 

 Crazy face!

this week in pictures

Daniel spent his first day at church sleepy and content, which I really appreciated because my goodness! Soloing it on the pew with all four boys while Bishop Anderson looks helplessly on from the stand is a circus act of its own!

Walking with all four to the playground. (The fourth was attached to me and thus not easily pictured.)

The two littles.

All four.

Attempting to snooze on the stoop.

Matthew likes to show me how he's gentle with Daniel.

My cousin, Kelly, her husband, Rinar, and their two oldest boys came to town and took Blake and I out to dinner (while their boys stayed behind to babysit!). The Italian food, served by our Venetian waiter, was pretty delicious, but the Nutella calzone we ordered for dessert was divine. It was fun to see them and do a bit of catching up.

Breaking in their gloves.

Matthew got a little bored waiting for dinner.

He's warmed up to his baby brother.

Architectural symmetry.

I'm so torn between wishing he'd stay tiny forever and wanting him to hurry up and get bigger so he'd cry less and sleep better.

He's not always so sad. In fact, sometimes he's really quite pleasant.

When Blake put Matthew up on his shoulder, I asked if Polly wanted a cracker. Matthew replied with an eager, "Yeah! Cracker! Cracker!"

Oops. That little parrot didn't stop asking for a cracker until I finally fished one out for him.

And now we know not to say "cracker" in his presence unless we're prepared to give him one.

Some Saturday morning t-ball.

A little snooze in the shade.

Little friends.

Story time.