morning madness

There is something about the mornings before school that, no matter how early I get up, are always wrought with chaos. Extreme multitasking is required, but even then, a smooth ride is far from guaranteed. I know that other families with school-aged children are not immune to mornings like this; in fact, I'm pretty sure the problem is epidemic. So when I tell you about how this morning, which is typical of most mornings, went down, I know you'll all be nodding your heads as you think to yourself, "Mmm-hmm, you know dat's right."

6:15 - After hitting snooze several times, I finally drag myself out of bed and into the shower.

6:30 - All clean and clothed and, miracle of miracles, no kids are up yet. I make Matthew's daily batch of bottles and fix up his cereal for breakfast. While doing so an oddly perky Garrett has emerged into the dawn, followed closely by a more believable, eyes-still-half-shut Caleb who stumbles and whines his way into the kitchen.

6:40 - I usher them back to their room to get dressed. Caleb is at first too tired to do anything by himself while Garrett, my perky little space cadet, has to be reminded fifteen times to change his underwear. Meanwhile, Matthew stirs, but thankfully does not start screaming, which buys me a few minutes to make some beds.

6:50 - While Garrett and Caleb finish dressing, I change Matthew and strip him down in preparation for his breakfast. As Blake finally drags himself out of bed and into the shower, I serve up breakfast, taking care to make sure that everyone has their favorite color bowl and matching cup so that no one explodes.

6:53 - Inevitably, though, there is an explosion. Several, in fact. Caleb wanted his chair to be situated a mile away from the table (which is unacceptable, not to mention asking for trouble), Garrett wanted his vitamin stat, and Matthew wails that I'm not shoveling food into his mouth fast enough.

7:00 - Finally, everyone is eating and a relative rhythm has settled over the kitchen. So in between bites for Matthew and spoonfuls of cereal for me, I quiz Garrett on his sight words and repeatedly tell Caleb to sit down when he eats.

7:10 - Matthew finishes eating and is ready to be hosed down, but not before someone hollers for a second helping of "Orange Cereal" (Honey Bunches of Oats). I'm just about to take a wet washcloth to Matthew's face when someone else hollers for more milk. Cereal and milk satisfactorily doled out, I'm finally able to clean up Matthew, but not before he's managed to get his breakfast all over both legs and in his hair.

7:20 - Blake has to head out to work, so we say family prayer (around the kitchen table, since some boys are still eating). Once he's gone I realize that, so long as the boys are still at the table and Matthew's not crying, I just might have time to dry my hair and throw on a bit of make-up before we have to leave the house.

7:22 - Of course I'm interrupted by a crisis in the kitchen. But for the sake of all the people who will have to see me on my trek to and from Garrett's school, I do my best to ignore it and carry on with getting myself ready.

7:30 - Everyone is finally finished with breakfast, which means it's time for me to start telling them to gather up the things they'll need to leave the house: shoes, jackets, backpack, lunch, etc. This is also about the time when Matthew starts screaming for his bottle. Unfortunately, between putting shoes on, zipping up coats, and reminding everyone to use the bathroom before we leave the house, he has to wait.

7:45 - With Garrett and Caleb ready to go, I bundle Matthew into the carrier, prop a bottle in his mouth, and trip over tiny people as we all head out the door.

7:47 - We walk outside only to discover that it's raining enough for us to get wet, but not enough for us to have noticed before we left the building. So I herd everyone back inside, tell them to wait in the lobby, and run back upstairs for umbrellas.

7:50 - We're finally on our way. As we walk down the street, and I do my best to keep them from wandering off the sidewalk or into other pedestrians, I'm reminded again how much walking them to school is like herding a few stereotypical sheep.

7:58 - Matthew has finished chugging his bottle and looks content for about thirty seconds before he starts drifting into his morning nap.

8:00 - We arrive at the school where a crowd is gathering waiting for the doors to open. They do seconds later, and Garrett, without so much as wave goodbye, starts heading inside. If it's not too crowded, I'm able to call him back, which he does willingly, but obviously consumed by a bit of minor embarrassment that I would dare to hug him in front of his peers.

8:15 - Back at home, I start picking up the pieces of this morning's madness. Caleb helps, Matthew sleeps, and we all sigh with relief that Garrett's at school and we can slow down the pace we started the day with.


Now give me an "Amen, sistah!" Because I know I'm not the only one run ragged by early morning madness.