in memoriam

Back in July I was able to visit the 9/11 Memorial with a group of friends from church. I'd already been to the site twice before, but this was my first time going without my children. The experience was vastly different; instead of trying to coax reverence out of cranky little boys or keep them from throwing the mementos of loved ones into the fountains, I was able to focus my thoughts on the significance of that place and the events that took place there. For a place where tragedy of such magnitude occurred, the experience was remarkably pleasant. It is a beautiful memorial, designed with love and built with care.

A few weeks later, while returning home from dinner at Delmonico's, my friend, Yeenor, recounted the story of her experiences that day. She was inside the first tower when the plane struck and, despite the pandemonium, managed to get out shortly before it came crumbling down. I listened, rapt, as her tale unraveled with the intensity of those buildings as they fell. She spoke casually, which surprised me, since that day for her was clearly anything but casual.

Eleven years have now passed, and while for so many the widening years will not lessen the crater 9/11 has created in their lives, I sense that individuals and the nation as a whole are beginning to heal. For the first time since we came to New York, this day felt to me almost like any other, busy and full of purpose. We of course will never forget, but it's nice to see evidence that where time once stood still, it's starting to move forward.

and it's outta there!

A few days after his fifth birthday, we noticed Garrett's first baby tooth was loose. Two months later, it finally fell out.

As soon as it was washed, admired, and photographed, he tucked his tooth safely underneath his pillow and is now anxiously awaiting his first visit from the tooth fairy tonight.

Wow. Kindergarten and a lost tooth. It sure has been a big week for this big boy!

garrett goes to kindergarten

It's the day we've all been waiting for....Garrett's first day of kindergarten! He loved it, just as we all expected he would, and even though today was an extremely short day, he came home completely exhausted. (The kindergarteners at this school are weaned onto the full day schedule, so today he was only there for an hour an a half. Tomorrow he'll go for two and a half hours, and by Monday he'll be there from 8:00 to 2:30.) I think he's still trying to get his full strength back after his bout with the stomach flu earlier this week, but his eagerness to be back in school has been giving him that needed boost of energy.

Neither of us knows his teacher's name yet (which is strange for me; I'm still trying to get used to the way things are done in the New York City public school system), but he's in the same class as Gracie and Ava, a set of twins from his beloved Class 6. They sat next to each other in the auditorium when all the kindergarten children and their parents gathered at the beginning of the school day, and chatted until they were whisked off to their classroom. At one point I put my hand on Garrett's knee and started to ask him a question, but he quickly interrupted me with, "Mom, I'm busy talking with Gracie right now."

I guess he is growing up. Well, if that's how it's going to be, I think he's ready.

"Matthew, today's my first day of kindergarten. I'm so excited!"

 The obligatory First Day of School pose in front of the building.

 And Caleb, of course, wants in on the photo-op.

 This year we'll walk to school instead of riding the bus.

One of the newest members of the P.S. 185 Kindergarten class.

the good, the bad, and the ugly

Or, How We Spent the Last Days of Summer Vacation

The Good
Last week my mom passed through Brooklyn en route to the Baltic cruise she was embarking on from Copenhagen. Her visit with us was short, and for the most part, we kept our activities low key and close to home, with one grand exception. On Wednesday night we headed into the city to try our luck again at the Newsies lottery. It was our second attempt to win tickets, but when we saw how big the crowd was, it seemed the odds were stacked against us once more. And when, about half-way through the drawing, they still hadn't called either of our names, I stopped holding my breath in anxious anticipation.

And then -- they called my name! I claimed my two tickets and we were in. While it was the same production and even the same cast as the off-broadway version I saw last year at the Paper Mill Playhouse in New Jersey, I enjoyed it a lot more. Maybe the slightly altered story line and song lyrics had finally grown on me, maybe the practice of a longer run helped the cast performed better, or maybe things just really are better on Broadway. Whatever it was, we both had a blast and I enjoyed the show a lot more the second time around.

The Bad
Earlier in August I took the boys in for a routine dental check-up. Caleb checked out fine, with the exception of the devastating news that he had to stop sucking his fingers because he was developing an overbite. (And like I mentioned in his birthday letter, he has amazed us all by immediately quitting cold turkey. He hasn't sucked his fingers since, day or night.)

It was Garrett's first time to get x-rays of his teeth, the films of which showed that in the six months since his last appointment his bottom molars had grown together, and plaque, which we hadn't ever needed to floss out before, had caused three cavities to develop, consequently requiring two follow-up visits to fill them. Surprisingly, Garrett didn't mind. In fact, he was thrilled because, as he frequently told me, he loves the dentist! The first cavity was filled with no problem, but when I took him back for his second filling appointment last week, the dentist discovered that the decay was worse than originally thought. The nerve was exposed, leaving us with the only option to perform a baby root canal. Yikes! Garrett was a trooper, though. They did it right then, and he hardly flinched. (I might flinch, though, when the bill for that unexpected procedure arrives!) And now we've learned the hard way that flossing our children's teeth is extremely important.

The Ugly
Late Friday night, after we'd all gone to bed, Caleb came to my bedside, told me his mouth hurt, and then threw up all over me, beginning a string of never-ending trips to the laundromat as over the next four days nearly every one of us fell prey to a nasty stomach bug. (Matthew, by some miracle, is so far the only one of us who has avoided it.) Garrett, who bit the dust late Sunday night, had it the worst, and somehow managed to vomit all over his bed and Caleb's twice in a twelve hour period (the second time occurring, of course, shortly after we'd washed all the bedding and remade the beds). I'll spare you all the gory details, but I will say that all of our household linens and our floors have been thoroughly cleaned several times. It hasn't been pretty. We all finally seem to be on the mend (Garrett claims, when I ask him how his tummy feels, that he is "Good and great and healthy!"), and just in time, too, because Garrett's first day of kindergarten is tomorrow.


So while the end of our summer vacation wasn't particularly spectacular, it's over nonetheless, and I'm more than a little relieved. And tomorrow begins an undetermined amount of years that will revolve around the academic calendar. That is a routine I think I can wrap my head around.

big boys

Both Caleb and Matthew are often told that they are big boys -- Caleb because of his height and Matthew because of his baby rolls and chubby cheeks. But while I learned today at their 3 year and 4 month well check-up appointments that while they are indeed above average, they are not as off-the-charts as some people seem to think. Here are their stats:

Caleb, age 3 years
Height: 39 1/4 inches
Weight: 32 lbs 6 oz

Matthew, age 4 months
Height: 26 inches
Weight: 16 lbs


Both boys are healthy and growing just fine. This was Caleb's first "big boy" appointment, complete with a blood pressure check and a urine sample, both of which he found to be fantastically grown up. He was also given his first eye exam, which indicated a slight concern with his eyesight. We'll be monitoring that closely and possibly taking him in down the road for an exam with an optometrist.

To my surprise, Matthew is actually a little smaller than I thought he'd be. I guess that I'm just as easily swayed by those chubby cheeks. He was given the green light to start solid foods; we gave him his first experience with cereal on a spoon this afternoon. With time and practice, I'm sure he'll learn to enjoy it a little more than he did today.

caleb is three

Dear Caleb,

Today we are celebrating three years of you! You woke up this morning with an expectant look on your face, and when you walked into the living room and saw the birthday banner hanging, you were so pleased. "It's my birthday!" you shouted happily, and then proceeded to continue the day as if you'd been crowned king (much to Garrett's dismay).

Our celebrations this year have been quiet. I made you smoothies for breakfast, which are still your favorite, and your friend, Elizabeth, called you on the phone all the way from New Jersey to wish you a happy birthday. We played a few rounds of Hungry, Hungry Hippos, which you'd been aching to do ever since Garrett received the game for his birthday earlier this summer, then spent the rest of the morning outside at the playground. This evening we'll have a family party, with your requested chicken nuggets for dinner and dessert of ice cream and the cupcakes you helped me bake. And presents, too, of course. You're very excited to open presents!

There is no one quite like you, Caleb. You are feisty, strong-willed, and stubborn. You are also observant,  creative, and daring. And when you set your mind to something, there is no changing it. I'm still amazed that after three years of sucking your fingers, when the dentist told you last week that you needed to stop, you dropped the habit without looking back once.

You're growing up -- too quickly, it sometimes seems. You've decided that you're too old now for an afternoon nap and you've taken on more responsibilities in our family. But you are still my blanket-cuddling little boy who will crawl into my lap whenever it's available (and sometimes even when it's not!). And despite the squabbles you engage in (and often provoke) with your brother, you have the ability to be incredibly polite, kind, and thoughtful, thinking of others before yourself.

I love you, my sweet boy. You came into my life three years ago like a whirlwind and have kept me on my toes ever since. You fill a very special place in my heart, and I'm so glad that you are mine.

Love,
Mama

four months

Dear Matthew,

At four months, you are doing a lot:

• A lot of drooling, which is why your shirts are always completely soaked.
• A lot of sleeping. You sleep a solid 12 hours every night, and your daytime sleep schedule has also become more predictable.
• A lot of settling in. You have fallen into a routine that I can typically count on day to day.
• A lot of smiling and giggling. You are happier these days and consequently more playful.
• A lot of talking. Well, cooing, anyway. There are times when you have an awful lot you'd like to say.
• A lot of growing. I won't know your exact measurements for a few more days, but even though you are satisfied with four (unthickened) 6-ounce bottles a day, you are packing on the pounds. I think it's safe to say that you'll be wearing 9 month sized clothes well before you are 9 months old. But those cheeks -- oh, those cheeks are worth every ounce!
• A lot of splashing. You love bathtime, especially now that you've learned how fun it is to kick in the water.
• A lot of watching. You keep close tabs on your brothers and their silly antics as they move wildly around the room.
• A lot of practice at developing patience. As I suppose is to be expected of the third child, you put up with a lot of poking and prodding by your big brothers who are as enamored with you as you seem to be of them.
• A lot of thumb sucking. Your thumb is usually as slobbery as your shirtfront. 

In addition to all this, this month you also moved to the crib. The transition to sharing a room with your brothers has not been as daunting as I feared, and though there have been a few obstacles to overcome, before too much longer you'll be scheming with them in their attempts to stall bedtime.

You have the ability to brighten some of my otherwise more difficult days, and for that I will always be grateful. I love you, my sweet, sweet boy!

Love,
Mama

fifth cityversary

Five years. Today marks five years of Brooklyn. Five years of exploration, five years of adventure, five years of having to find creative solutions to the challenges of city life.

And five years of growth. A lot has happened in these five years. The six-week-old we arrived with is starting kindergarten in a few weeks. Two more children have been added in the meantime. Our responsibilities have expanded, not only in the realm of family life, but at church, where we've held increasingly more demanding callings, and in Blake's career, where he was recently promoted to be a director on his research team. We've formed some incredible, life-long friendships with wonderful people. We have, in short, been greatly blessed.

But along with the happy times come hard ones as well. I was never overwhelmingly thrilled at the idea of moving to New York, but it was where the job was and so we came. I put on my bravest face, planted myself into the cement, and did my best to thrive. And I think I did, though the days were far from always sunny.

As our family has grown, though, so have our needs. It's getting harder for me to maneuver daily life in this city. This last year has been particularly difficult, with a series of events, many of them related to city life, that have pushed me closer and closer to the edge, and pregnancy and post-partum hormones that sent me toppling right over. I finally spoke to my doctor about it, and am now on an anti-depressant to treat post-partum anxiety and depression. While I'm hopeful that this will help me feel less hopeless, I am still anxious for a change of scene.

So after five years in Brooklyn, I have mixed feelings about it. It is a fascinating place to live, but I am terrified at the idea of staying for another five years. Whatever happens, though, I hope that I can keep my opinion of this place a positive one because it has, despite the challenges, been good to us.

here's looking at you, kid

zoo week

I'm not going to take the boys to visit any zoos or ride on any carousels this week.

Because last week I took them to three different zoos and for rides on two different carousels.

I think that is more than sufficient, don't you?


Zoo #1: New York Aquarium, Coney Island, Brooklyn (Monday) 
We had a morning with nothing going on, Garrett had been begging for a while to go to the "Quarium," I already knew how to drive there, AND our membership gives us free parking. The boys promised to be on their best behavior (and they were, until the inevitable meltdown just before we were about to call it a day), so I said why not? And so we went. (Whoa. Me? Spontaneous? That doesn't happen very often.) It must have been a while since we'd been here because they both experienced each fish tank as if for the very first time, which was very entertaining.

 "Whoa! Look at all the fish, Mom!"

In awe of the salt marsh exhibit.

Zoo #2: Prospect Park Zoo, Brooklyn (Thursday)
This visit was for a weekly playgroup, so we had some friends with us.

 Garrett has finally gotten brave enough to let the goats eat out of his hand.

 Caleb's close, but he chickens out and drops the food pellets at the last second.

 Speaking of chickens, here they are checking them out.

 "Mom! The baboons have red diapers! Crazy, huh!"

This, we were informed, is an emu, not an ostrich like we initially thought. But as we moved on from the exhibit, Garrett proceeded to inform me that ostriches put their heads in the ground to go to sleep. Further confirmation that PBS Kids really is an educational channel.

Carousel #1: Prospect Park, Brooklyn (Thursday)
The Prospect Park Carousel, which is adjacent to the zoo, is free for kids on Thursdays this August. So of course we had to ride it. It's probably the fastest carousel I've ever ridden. Every time I glanced at Caleb he looked not only completely exhilarated, but incredibly windblown, too.

Carousel #2: Bear Mountain State Park Merry-Go-Round, Bear Mountain, New York (Saturday)
We needed to get out of the city, so on Saturday we drove as a family up to Bear Mountain State Park, which is located up north in the Hudson Highlands. They had a carousel, and it only cost $1, so we said why not and gave the boys their second ride in as many days.

Zoo #3: Trailside Museum and Zoo, Bear Mountain, New York (Saturday)
A portion of the Appalachian Trail runs through the Bear Mountain Trailside Museum and Zoo, which features only wildlife native to New York State. It's a lovely little zoo in a beautiful setting. Seeing native animals in a natural setting was a treat -- and definitely better than seeing the same animals in the wild! This portion of the park also features trails used during the Revolutionary War Battle of Stony Point.

Eastern Coyote (which are apparently bigger than Western Coyote)

 Black bear

Mute swan

delmonico's

In case you hadn't noticed, I don't live the sort of New York City lifestyle that affords for many fine dining experiences. But the other night, thanks to Restaurant Week and my friend's good sense to organize a group reservation, I dined at the city's very first fine dining establishment.

Delmonico's.

Have you heard of them? They're pretty famous. The establishment is 175 years old, and is responsible for the restaurant experience as we know it today. According to their website, they were the first diner to seat guests at their own table, the first to set those tables with tablecloths, and the first to offer a printed menu, among other things.

They have served the likes of Theodore Roosevelt, Charles Dickens, J. P. Morgan, Mark Twain, and Edward VII.

It is the original home to such dishes as lobster Newberg, eggs Benedict, Manhattan style clam chowder, baked Alaska, and Delmonico style potatoes and steak.

And, oh, it is good. Definitely worth the pretty penny patrons fork over for the experience of eating there. Because it is an experience, and one that I highly recommend. (But may I suggest that unless you want to spend $75+ on a meal, eat there during Restaurant Week when the same experience will cost a pre-fixed price of $35.)

As an appetizer I ordered the wedge salad (Jasper Hill blue cheese, North Country apple-wood bacon, red onion, and tomato). For my entre I chose filet mignon (medium well and with sides of seasonal vegetables and Delmonico potatoes). And for dessert I ate Valhrona chocolate cake (with black currant butter cream) along with a few bites of some shared baked Alaska (walnut cake, apricot jam, banana gelato, and meringue). Oh it was divine! I did my best to savor each bite, but it was so delicious that it disappeared all too quickly.

What a fun evening out spent in the company of some really fun people! It's outings like these that serve to remind me that there's a lot more to this city than I get to experience on a typical day.

roller coaster

Saturday was jam-packed with a whirlwind of activity. So I suppose it was fitting that somewhere in all that fun I rode one of the oldest roller coasters in the world, yea even The Cyclone at Coney Island.

It originally opened in June 1927, which makes it now a whopping 85 years old. This isn't the first historic, wooden roller coaster I've ridden, nor is it the oldest. I've also been on the Giant Dipper (1924) on the Santa Cruz boardwalk in California, as well as the White Roller Coaster (1921) at Lagoon in Farmington, Utah. But either I'm suffering from thrill-ride amnesia because it's been so long since I've been on a roller coaster, or I'm just getting old, but oh my, this was a bumpy ride! It was hard for me to make the most of the thrills derived from an 85-foot drop because of how rickety the ride down was. (Yeah, I'm probably just getting old.)

But it was still way fun! (And I'm not just saying that.) And now another item on my NYC Bucket List has been checked off.

Here's a little more of how we filled our busy day:

Playing on the beach at Coney Island with our friends, the Blairs. The boys (minus Matthew, who watched the fun from a distance with Blake) dug in the sand and dipped their toes while their friends, Isaac and Alexander, were a little more adventurous -- and consequently a got a little more wet.

Walking along the boardwalk to get to the sprinklers were we could hose off all the sand stuck to our skin.

Since Blake and I were planning to ride the Cyclone, we told the boys they could pick one amusement park ride to go on. They chose airplanes. And they loved it.

(Unphotographed but also occurred: A Sicilian pizza lunch with the Blairs at L&B Spumoni Gardens, and two trips to Costco -- one to buy food, and another to return food that turned out to be moldy.)

Because we weren't completely worn out or suffering from sunburn-induced sleepiness (ha!), in the evening we joined our friends, the Grimshaws, for another free concert in Prospect Park. This time the fare was bluegrass. (When we entered the bandshell and were searching for a spot of lawn to spread our blanket on, Garrett asked, "Where's the blue grass?") We ate a little picnic dinner and enjoyed the summer evening (as much as the blistering humidity would let us) with our friends. The boys pooped out before we made it through the opening acts to the main event, which I'm a little bummed about (I do love me some good, old-timey bluegrass).

But, seeing as this was a roller coaster sort of day, heading home and putting them to bed turned out to be for the best. I don't have a picture as proof, but you can believe me when I tell you that, for the very first time, I put all three boys to bed in the same bedroom. Because, you know, we were on a roll. This feat has been high on my list of Things I'm Procrastinating ever since Matthew outgrew the Moses basket in our room. He needed to move to the crib, but the crib only fits in the other room, and there were just so many variables to consider in making this transition. But it worked! Or we got lucky. Either way, everyone slept until about 6:30 when Matthew woke up to eat. Garrett and Caleb woke up then, too, but I told them it wasn't time to get up yet and everyone, including Matthew, after he finished his bottle, went back to sleep until about 7:30 when I had to get everyone up to get ready for church. Night 1 was a success (as was Night 2, for that matter), but naps are another story. I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually, and maybe even land on our feet. We always seem to.

apple cake

Last winter some like-minded friends and I formed a book club. A smaller group of us tried forming one several years ago, but it fizzled before it had a chance to really take off. This second attempt, however, has seen much more success. Like with your typical book club, we've been taking turns picking books to read which we then discuss at our monthly meetings. So far we have read the following:

• Sky Burial by Xinran
• The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan
• The Ladies Auxiliary by Tova Mirvis
• The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
• The Red Tent by Anita Diamant (I didn't finish this one, mostly because the timing coincided with Matthew's birth and I was otherwise occupied.)
• The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
• Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier

Though I liked some of the books more than others (and about half of them I'd already read once before), I found each of them interesting and compelling enough to allow for some engaging discussions. It's really been a lot of fun to read good books, gather with good friends, and participate in good talks about them.

Last night we met to discuss our latest pick: East of Eden by John Steinbeck. I first read this book when Blake and I were newly married and I was still unemployed. I've been eager to discuss it with someone ever since, so last night's meeting was not only highly anticipated but incredibly satisfying. I now have a much greater appreciation for allegory based on the fall of Adam and Eve and the rivalry between Cain and Abel that Steinbeck so ambitiously penned.

Book clubs need, in my opinion, several things to be successful: 1) A group of people who enjoy reading, who 2) can carve out the time in their schedules to meet to discuss what they read, and 3) food to eat while they discuss the books. If the food somehow coordinates with the subject of the book, why, all the better! Which is why my contribution last night was Apple Cake. (You know that with a book called East of Eden apples would have to be on the menu somewhere!)

I found this recipe in, of all places, a Costco cookbook (which, despite its origin, has recipes for dishes in normal sized proportions). It's one I've been wanting to try for a while now, so even though it's technically a breakfast cake, I pulled the apple card and made it anyway. Because it calls for a store-bought cake mix, it was really easy to make, and it was tasty to boot (I'd categorize it alongside coffee cake).


Good Morning Apple Cake
adapted from Smart Cooking the Costco Way

1 yellow cake mix
3 large eggs
1 1/3 cups milk
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
2 medium-sized apples, the variety of your choice

Streusel Topping:
3/4 cup old-fashioned oats
3/4 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup melted butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9x13" baking pan. Prepare the streusel topping by combining all ingredients in a medium bowl; mix well. Set aside.

Beat the cake mix, eggs, milk, and cinnamon in a large bowl until just moistened. With an electric mixer, beat for 2 minutes at medium speed.

Peel, core, and dice the apples; fold into the batter. Pour half of the batter into the prepared pan. Sprinkle with half of the streusel topping. Top with remaining batter. Sprinkle with remaining topping.

Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

car soup

It's been simmering for three days.

Simmering on his apparently portable stove top.

Occasionally he'll take off the lid and stir what's inside.

And just what is it exactly that he's making? Why, car soup, of course!

I'm sure it will be delicious.

fire museum

At the beginning of the week we joined our friends, the VDGs, on an excursion to the New York City Fire Museum, located in an old fire station in SoHo. The boys had a lot of fun, and I'm still recovering, which I suppose means the visit was a success.

The museum is essentially an archive of FDNY memorabilia, and it houses some pretty old and interesting things like a collection of fire engines, some of which can't even be called "engines" because they were originally pulled by horses. It also depicts the history of the city's most infamous fires, such as the P. T. Barnum's American Museum Fire in 1865 and the Triangle Shirtwaist Company Factory Fire in 1911, which, as it turns out, was the deadliest fire in the city until the collapse of the World Trade Center on 9/11. That event, of course, has its own dedicated memorial room inside the museum. The museum also teaches fire safety to children. We participated in the "class" and the boys learned important catch phrases like "don't hide -- go outside," "fall and crawl," "stop, drop, and roll," as well as how to call 911. They also got to practice getting out of the smoke-filled simulation apartment.

 (This scene is typical of any outing: Garrett clutching his informative brochure in an attempt to be educated, Caleb clutching himself with a suddenly desperate need to use the potty.)

So, cool things to see and learn about at the Fire Museum. But in spite of it all (or perhaps because of it all), I came away with a monstrous headache. While it probably stemmed from the switch problems on the already crowded subway that made getting there even more of a chore, it was hammered in further by the fact that this was a museum that couldn't decide who its audience was. They display big, enticing fire engines to children, but they are not allowed to be touched. At all. They have a lovely 9/11 memorial room aimed not only to pay respect to those firefighters who died but, as it seemed to me, to teach children the significance of what happened that day, but my children were shushed out of the room (and while they certainly could have calmed down a little, they weren't being all that loud). They teach fire safety to children and yet the museum as a whole is really not very child-friendly. Which is fine; it doesn't have to be. But they need to make up their minds because I don't think I'll ever be able to find the energy to go there again (and continually tell my children to stop touching this and stop touching that, particularly when the objects are in-your-face and not behind ropes or glass) unless they open up at least one fire engine for children to truly explore.