Five years. Today marks five years of Brooklyn. Five years of exploration, five years of adventure, five years of having to find creative solutions to the challenges of city life.
And five years of growth. A lot has happened in these five years. The six-week-old we arrived with is starting kindergarten in a few weeks. Two more children have been added in the meantime. Our responsibilities have expanded, not only in the realm of family life, but at church, where we've held increasingly more demanding callings, and in Blake's career, where he was recently promoted to be a director on his research team. We've formed some incredible, life-long friendships with wonderful people. We have, in short, been greatly blessed.
But along with the happy times come hard ones as well. I was never overwhelmingly thrilled at the idea of moving to New York, but it was where the job was and so we came. I put on my bravest face, planted myself into the cement, and did my best to thrive. And I think I did, though the days were far from always sunny.
As our family has grown, though, so have our needs. It's getting harder for me to maneuver daily life in this city. This last year has been particularly difficult, with a series of events, many of them related to city life, that have pushed me closer and closer to the edge, and pregnancy and post-partum hormones that sent me toppling right over. I finally spoke to my doctor about it, and am now on an anti-depressant to treat post-partum anxiety and depression. While I'm hopeful that this will help me feel less hopeless, I am still anxious for a change of scene.
So after five years in Brooklyn, I have mixed feelings about it. It is a fascinating place to live, but I am terrified at the idea of staying for another five years. Whatever happens, though, I hope that I can keep my opinion of this place a positive one because it has, despite the challenges, been good to us.
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7 comments:
You're so much more positive than I am. Good for you!
Wow, five years?! Feels like just yesterday you announced your move and I thought, "wow she sounds so excited and positive about this....I would be curled up in the fetal position crying all day!" I think you've handled it very, very well and I'm glad your taking action to keep doing so as needed. I also hope for your sake that it's not five more years! ;)
Do you hear the siren call of Westchester?? Come, come!!
We will hit our five year mark in November and I can identify with SO much of what you say.
Here's to brave faces and (hopefully) brighter futures... that also include increased square footage!
I often think of you and how you've managed and have nothing but admiration (and no envy!). I do hope the feelings of hopelessness continue to decrease and eventually go away. You have enough on your plate with three little ones; no fun to have all that anxiety too!
Yay!! Way to go Lindsay!! You are so brave. If i dont read your blog i will never realized that you also have those kind of feelings of anxiety because you look so cool!! BTW, the gift for baby Matthew and the card i wrote for you has been sitting in my drawer, now i think the card is too early for the next Mother's day!
You. Are. Awesome. And I admire your strength. That is all. :O)
Except, hang in there. You can do it!!!!!!
I often think of you when I am frustrated with my one tiny baby and am amazed with all you are able to do. I'm glad you were able to get the medication and I hope it helps you to feel better!
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