for daniel at one month

Dear Daniel,

This first month with you has been for me one of palpable exhaustion but also one of exhilarating joy. It has been my sweet pleasure to start to get to know you and to realize that no matter how much you look like your older brothers, you are your very own unique little person.

You have already done a lot of growing, and are seeming to me to be less and less fragile. You've been colicky as well, and I am sometimes at a loss of how to comfort you. I'm so torn between wishing you'd stay tiny forever and wanting you to quickly grow bigger so that you'll cry less and sleep better. Luckily, swaddling you tight and holding you close usually calms you down and sends you to your happy place. A good swaddle solves a lot of your problems, actually, which is why you are almost constantly wrapped up.

Honestly, though, despite your fussiness, you have more periods of calm contentment than your brothers did. I'm not sure if it's the probiotic experiment we're trying with you, or just your temperament (or perhaps a bit of both), but you have the ability to enjoy brief moments alone on a blanket and left to wonder at the world around you. It catches me off guard every time and makes me want to swoop you back into my arms, even though they often ache from holding you so long and I know that I should probably let you be for both of our benefit. But sometimes I just can't resist -- your round little cheeks are always begging to be smothered in kisses. It is in these moments that I'm reminded that you are so close to learning how to smile, a milestone I am greatly looking forward to.

I love you, my sweet Danny Boy, and feel so blessed to have you here. Your brothers, too, are glad to have you around (you are a lucky little boy to have so many good ones looking out for you!).

Love,
Mama

His shirt speaks truth: he is Captain Adorable.
 

 Crazy face!