middle child

And then there's Caleb.

He hasn't had a birthday recently. He hasn't been to the doctor. While he loves and is fascinated by his baby brother, he certainly isn't Matthew's number one fan. He isn't verbal enough to be saying off-the-wall hilarious things like Garrett. He hasn't been to school yet, and won't start for another year. He isn't constantly checking adorable milestones off his developmental to-do list. He isn't brand new in the family anymore. He isn't a visitor from out of town. And consequently he hasn't been featured much recently on this blog.

But he's here. Oh, he's here. He's just become the Middle Child.

He's having a hard time adjusting to his shifted placement in the family, and Blake and I are having a hard time keeping him from getting lost. His age (he turns 3 next month) isn't helping matters either. His methods of clawing for attention are hard not to notice. He'll wet his pants and forget (i.e. refuse) to do things he proved months ago that he could. He hits and pushes and throws things, yells and talks back, and finds a disturbing sense of pleasure in being blatantly disobedient.

I'm sure that his behavior is not uncommon for a child in his position, but it's wearing me out, and is inhibiting my ability to respond to him appropriately and give him the positive attention he craves. We're running in circles, and digging ourselves a trench that is getting increasingly difficult to climb out of.

He's not always so impossible, though, and when he's in a mood to get attention in a more positive way, he suddenly becomes very charming. Some of his current quirks include a fear of parked cars (which means he must always be walking on the "building side" of the sidewalk, and as such is constantly forcing Garrett to trade places with him as they walk next to me through the neighborhood), and nodding his head in agreement when we whisper to him the lines for his bedtime prayers rather than saying them (this is mostly because he's too lazy/addicted to take his fingers out of his mouth long enough to speak).

While he can be remarkably rude, he can also be pleasantly polite. He recognizes when someone does him a favor and in return favors them with a "dink," which is Calebese for "thanks." He can even be agreeable when he wants to be, like this morning when Garrett instinctively freaked out because Caleb was unknowingly standing in his way and, instead of freaking out in return, Caleb politely moved over and asked, "There. That better, Dahrett?"

He's a surprisingly hard worker -- last weekend at our ward service project he mulched trees with the best of them, long after Garrett pooped out. And he's good at putting his toys away when he's finished playing with them.

He's always aware of his surroundings and will act in such a way as to make the most of any situation. For example, he tunes in closely whenever Garrett gets in trouble and will seize the opportunity to be a schmooze. He also picks up on needs for kindness: when one of his brothers gets upset, the first thing he does is run to retrieve their blanket (because everyone knows that a silky blanket goes a long way in making things better).

And he's incredibly cuddly and jumps at the opportunity an available lap affords. The laps are not always as available as he thinks they are, and sometimes he plops down painfully hard. But I still want to squeeze him tight when it's my lap he chooses so that he knows he's not as lost in the middle as he might think he is.