pregnancy update

My 35-week appointment yesterday was an enlightening one, though I can't say it was entirely surprising. First, when during a quick ultrasound scan to check the heartbeat, my doctor couldn't find the baby's head because it was positioned so low. I thought that perhaps the baby had started descending in the couple of days prior to this appointment, though I wasn't expecting him to be so fully engaged this early in the game.

Since it was time to do the group B strep test, I requested that he also do a quick pelvic exam while he was down there to see if the intense contractions I've been having have been dilating my cervix. I warned him as he was preparing to check me that when Caleb engaged at the end of my last pregnancy, he pushed my cervix far back into a posterior position so he'd know to look for it if he couldn't find it initially. Sure enough, this baby has done the same thing, which made it rather painful for him to determine that I'm 1.5 cm dilated. He was also able to confirm that the baby's head is indeed extremely low. Knowing that his head and my cervix are settled so unnaturally far back is starting to make me wonder if the crippling pain I feel in my lower back is being caused not by a pulled muscle, but by the position of the baby. If it continues to bother me, and I make it it to my next appointment, I will probably ask.

In our discussion following the exam, I learned more about what happened to make Caleb's birth so lightning fast (and slightly terrifying), and why, given this second round of a posterior cervix, I can expect something similar for this next delivery. Apparently when the cervix is posterior, contractions don't so much open the cervix as they do to thin it out (which is somehow different from effacement, though I'm not quite sure in what way). As it thins, and as you get closer to the actual delivery, the baby's head will push the cervix back over the birth canal and BOOM -- moments later, he's in your arms. In my case, the contractions I feel in the weeks leading to the delivery -- both the Braxton-Hicks and the real deal -- are working to thin out my cervix, and they mostly do this in these weeks (rather than the hours) leading up to delivery. When the baby is finally in position over the birth canal, and my water is finally able to break, I am already in transition and it's time to push. And since the baby is already positioned so incredibly low, pushing doesn't take more than 20-30 minutes. Which is why my deliveries are so quick -- and why it is absolutely crucial that I get to the hospital before my water breaks, which, depending on how much I've dilated in the weeks prior, could be, like it was with Caleb, only a few short hours from the time my labor contractions are regular to when it is time to push.

I'm doing my absolute best to not be so terrified of a repeat performance of my traumatic experience delivering Caleb, which is something that at this point I can expect. Knowing what exactly is going on with my body is somewhat empowering, but it is also frightening. Last night I asked Blake to give me a blessing. The things he told me as he laid his hands on my head were very comforting and calmed some of my current pressing fears. One way or another I'm going to have this baby, and it's going to happen sooner rather than later. Also, it's going to be fine. So here we go.